Moving On

Hello-

I decided that it was time for a change in my life- don't worry, change is ok. We will all survive this shift I'm sure.

I have decided to end my love affair with xanga. SHOCKER!!!! but don't worry I will continue to blog just not on here- check out my new spot at http://eajacobson.wordpress.com/ 

I will also continue to check up on all of you. And I will not delete my xanga so when you want to laugh at the girl I once was, you can access all my previous entries.

So long dear friends.

What's up with my life?

So I got invited to a full day interview with Teach for America. A few hours after that I received this email:

Dear Emily,

Congratulations on being invited to a final interview with Teach For America. We are contacting you because you expressed an interest in South Dakota on your application. Because we expect there will be a particularly great need for corps members there this year, we hope you will continue to consider this region as you prepare to submit your Assignment Preference Form.

We invite you to learn more about South Dakota on our website, which includes a photo gallery and testimonials from corps members. 

Sincerely,

Teach For America Admissions

So basically, if I got in I could easily get what I wanted. The thing is I wasn't nearly excited as I thought I would be when I heard this news. I'm not quite sure about teach for america anymore. It's not that I couldn't do it because I truly feel I totally could. Sure, it'd be hard but I'd be up for the challenge. I just don't know if that's where I'm being called.

I got time to figure it all out.

Good.

Discovering the Teacher I'm Growing Into

Student teaching is a valuable experience.

My favorite moments from the day:

a. Sitting with a defiant student during homeroom and just chatting about life. I realize that at times I don't respond quickly to difiance and stomp it out. But this kid decided he was going to refuse a seating chart. He wasn't causing problems, he just didn't want to change seats and I didn't address it because it didn't disrupt the class but while kids were working on stuff, I just sat next to him and he unloaded some heavy stuff about what's going on in his household. He just needed to get things out. and after he did, we were cool.

b. Finally bonding with the child who made his hatred for me and student teachers very clear on my first day taking over the class.... as well as watching him down 8 dixie cups of Kool Aid in a matter of a couple minutes.

c. Accidentally falling into a lesson on polytonality with 22 7th grade percussionists who decided to randomly play in 2 different keys.

d. Being asked by an 8th grade special needs student to sit with him during rehearsal and help him sight-read his music. And then having the opportunity to talk about his love for music after class. Soooo great!

Transition

Sometimes xanga entries are hard to read. I will try to be more clear from now on. I don't want to confuse you all.

Everyone is moved back to school. I am not. I was having fun with my life in Rosemount- rearranging the room, getting reacquainted with friends and family, getting the best of my student teaching experience, going to bed early, attempting to be my picture of a real post-college adult. It's been good. But now we're experiencing a little more of reality. I miss my friends dearly and they are currently together. They are within a couple blocks of each other (or for the guys, a few miles) They can have dinner together, watch FRIENDS together, ask each other how their days are going, stay updated on each other's love lives event by event, support each other through life day by day, make glorious music together day after day, etc. I'm totally content where I'm at. I have a support system here- a pretty rockin' one too. I love the people around me and I love what I'm doing. I love teaching classes for the first time in a few years. However, I still miss where I was at and the people I was with. I feel gypped. Sure, I gypped myself but I still feel gypped.

Long story short, I'm gonna have to find more gas money. I was at school this past weekend. I will return next weekend and the weekend after. I have commitments (rehearsals and recitals) but I totally think I would make the drive without those commitments. I just hope I can see everyone I want to see and maintain relationships with everyone. It'll be interesting.

It's kinda getting close to my bedtime... I already feel like I'm getting sick.

I officially dumped the blue stars- just sent an email... again... we were trying to work things out but, no, I got bigger desires to pursue. That's lame. I hate giving things up even when I know they're not right.

NEWS: I think I'm beginning to rediscover passion. It's weird that I have to rediscover passion because, well, i love passion and I never thought I'd lose passion.... but it happens I guess.

I'm writing some letters that I'm afraid to send.

I start student teaching tomorrow.

It's gonna be early.

Here's some lyrics.

If you wait for me
Then I'll come for you
Although I've travelled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart

If you think of me
If you miss me
Once in a while
Then I'll return to you
I'll return and fill that space in your heart

Remembering your touch
Your kiss, your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you be waiting

If you dream of me
Like I dream of you
In a place that's warm and dark
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart

Remembering your touch
Your kiss, your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you be waiting

Oh I've longed for you
And I have desire
To see your face, your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering your touch
Your kiss, your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
Please say you'll be waiting

Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end

If you can make a promise
If its one that you can keep
I vow to come for you
If you wait for me

And Say you hold
A place for me
In your heart